Exhaustion (But not for Long)

There was a time, once, when I was as exhausted as I am now. That time was the end of my junior year at university, and it had been the most challenging year I had ever known. Everything had come due at the same time, I was under a lot of stress, and I had overcommitted myself. I was worn out and stretched thin. It was late Spring.

Funny how these things have a way of repeating themselves.

Here I am, it is late Spring, 2012, and I am worn out and stretched thin and in every way in need of a vacation. Today marks the 35th day I have been drafting my thesis - the completion of the first 5 of what I had anticipated being a 6-week process. The good news is that, following the completion of today's tasks a bit later tonight, I will have but one solitary day of work remaining, which I intend to fulfill by 5 PM tomorrow, after which fellow Fulbrighter Michael and Friend of Fulbright Chris are coming into town, and I will give myself a mid-week weekend to relax before I begin the editing process to procure Draft 2.

The confluence of my exhaustion and some personal angst has made the last month kind of tough, and in a lot of ways, I'm past the point at which I can typically draw on my well of resilience. That particular well is running dry. But what is keeping me going is the prospect that in less than 3 weeks, I'll be embarking on the coolest trip of my life.

I certainly didn't mean for this blog to devolve into a nexus of negativity, which I feel like it has partially done over the course of the last couple months. For that I'm sorry, and I promise that the rainbows and butterflies will be coming back in full force in the not-too-distant future. It's just that I've semi-unconsciously determined that candor is probably the best M.O. for this blog, and in that vein, I haven't been in the habit of holding back too much here. This blog, coexisting with the far more academic writing load of my thesis, has also, to a certain extent, become an outlet for me into which I've been able to pour my less-formal scribal inclinations. But, like I said, the tone will lift soon; this has just been a tough stretch for me lately. To try to regain my spiritual center, I've started a khichuri fast and I intend to start sleeping more, too, so we'll see how that goes.

None of this is to say that I haven't been having fun here, from time to time. Last night, I met a couple other Fulbrighters to go see Prometheus in IMAX, which was fun, even if it was a little intense for me. If you're into that kind of thing, though, I highly recommend it.

Next weekend, I will be much more relaxed - scout's honor. This is the last weekend I have to work straight through to keep up with my deadlines, and getting some rest every week will be a welcome change of pace. So until then, здравe и всичко хубаво.